Champagne Barbie’s blog

Hmmm...so it's Valentine's evening and i'm not out, i'm not with friends, i'm not on a date, i'm female and i'm not depressed. Odd.

As I stood on the escalator from Bank towards the Waterloo and City line on my monotonous journey home, getting prodded with flowers and roses as girls hurried past on their way to meet their lovers, and shoved to the side by men rushing to buy such flowers and roses for their lovers, I thought (only for a second mine) 'Am I missing out on something?' and my answer was no.

This time last year I was one of said girls rushing to meet a lover - we went for the rudimentary meal, got a little drunk, had sex and went to bed. A month later I broke up with him. What a Valentine he turned out to be.

When I got asked by a friend what I was doing tonight and I said nothing he replied 'So it's a bottle of wine in front of 'Ghost' and passed out on the sofa by 9.30 then.' Erm....no! What an awful vision that automatically popped into his mind. A vision put there by a society of women who are in such a rush to settle down, to be spoilt, to be 'swept of their feet'. But why? I just don't understand it. There is no rush. And you know what, my valentine is me. I've spent the evening washing my hair, sorting out my wardrobe (which it turns out only 10% of it I actually wear - Oxfam's gonna have a field day) and deciding what to wear tomorrow (black dress and black heels). I've now got a hot chocolate and am on my way to bed shortly. But i'm not crying. I'm not sad. I'm not feeling sorry for myself because i'm not out on another crap date with a soon-not-to-be valentine, or with a boyfriend i'm bored of, i'm just hanging out with me.

But don't get me wrong. I believe in true love. And when it comes knocking on my door i'll happily let it in. And then, maybe then, i'll celebrate this day as Ithen i'll have a reason to. But while i'm single and happy I don't need 'something' on February 14th to make me feel better about myself. And I hope you don't either.